A friend of ours is having a baby soon and it’s got me thinking about those first moments, days, weeks…there’s nothing like it, is there? I’m pretty certain I won’t be experiencing that newborn amazingness (and exhaustion, who am i kidding?) again but that doesn’t make me less baby-crazy!
It’s just silly how much “stuff” a newborn requires. So when we found out we were pregnant with another girl, we were relieved to think all we’d need to buy was diapers and a few new outfits. We already had all the baby necessities, what else would we need?! We were apparently a little naïve as well because fast forward a few months and we found ourselves acquiring quite a few new things. Read more
I know better. I’ve been through it before. I know well enough that it might feel like the end of the world but really it’ll be such a small tiny blip of time in the grand scheme of things. I even knew it was coming so I wasn’t surprised, and yet here I am, starting to feel overwhelmed by it again.
The dreaded 3 to 4 month sleep regression.
My initial worries and fears about breastfeeding were relatively normal. When I was pregnant I wondered if I would produce enough milk or how much it would hurt during those first weeks. I never worried about whether the baby or I would know how to breastfeed. How hard could it be? There’s a nipple and a mouth, put them together and ta-da! Totally natural, right?!
I’m not sure why fully committing to a baby name is so difficult for me – is it this way for everyone?! I know I tend to be indecisive but even once we’ve decided on a name, I still find it hard to declare her name to the world or do anything “official” like decorate her room with her initials. It’s just so final, before things are final, you know?
On the morning of June 30th, at 4:08am, we welcomed our second daughter – Layla Josephine. Although she made us wait an extra 8 days past her due date, once she was on her way, she moved pretty quickly, arriving 9 1/2 hours after my water broke. My mom and sister were in the delivery room (my Dad stayed home with big sister Ellie) and Chris got to catch her, pulling her out by holding under her armpits and placing her on my chest. He didn’t have time to put gloves on – neither did the midwife – because once I started pushing, she came out much quicker than expected. You’ll hear me complain every day about pregnancy pains and discomforts but I’ve been blessed with two relatively smooth deliveries. It doesn’t escape me how fortunate I am.
Tomorrow is D-date! I had a feeling this baby wouldn’t be early (Ellie was 4 days late) but I probably could have packed my hospital bag a little sooner than the day before. Since everything has been gathered, I thought I’d share a run down of what I’m bringing this time. It’s a lot LESS than I packed last time – and I probably still won’t use it all.
I went through about a dozen titles for this post before settling on this one.
It’s clear that the underlying factor in my hesitation to have another child is fear. Fear of the tangible realities – pregnancy discomfort, exhaustion, newborn challenges, financial strain – but also, and maybe more so, fear of the unknown, fear of more change and uncertainty.
The first few months of motherhood were pretty rough for me. Was it all bad? Absolutely not. There was a ton of joy and amazement among the struggles but as I look back, I tend to generalize by describing it as a difficult time for me. Even then, in the middle of it, I don’t think I knew how hard it was because you just DO it, there’s no other option. And I was so in love with my child and would do whatever was necessary to keep her happy and healthy. I of course KNEW that it was going to be hard, I didn’t have any fantasy that it wouldn’t be, but I had never done it before – so yea, some things came as a shock! Read more
“Motherhood is glamorous,” said no one ever.
I remember reading Jenny McCarthy’s book “Belly Laughs” on our babymoon in Cabo and dying of laughter as I related to all the insane things that were happening to her body during her pregnancy. Seriously, The Blue Twinkies and Pig in Pasture chapters had me falling off my beach chair.